I'm a professional driver.

I almost got into a really bad accident during lunch today. All these cars were stopped at a traffic light in the two right lanes. The left lane was open, and the light had changed to green as I was approaching. Well, this lady in the parking lot on the right comes flying out between two rows of cars right into my lane, and I had to slam on the breaks and swerve further to the left to make it around her.

Marie (who was with me) screamed and freaked out. I just laughed, cuz I’m so used to moron drivers. I’m a magnet for moron drivers.

So then later we’re listening to my Belinda Carlisle Greatest Hits CD. The song Heaven is a Place on Earth is playing and I ask Marie (who is 36), “Does this song remind you of elementary school? She looks at me and says, “No. Who is this? I’ve never heard it.”

I nearly fell out of the car. What? How have you never heard that song? I was stupefied. And it’s not like she’s from another country, or grew up in the sticks. Weird.